We previously broke down how to set boundaries in episode 11, let's take it back a step and talk about when and why...
Episode Highlights:
1. Ingredients of a boundary: Clear, Assertive, Relevant, Explicit
2. When to set boundaries - when repeated interactions result in negative emotions (being unloveable, resentful, defeated, guilty, taken advantage of)
- Leave you feeling dysregulated - outside of window of tolerance of emotion (move into fight, flight, or freeze and appease)
- When I interact with ___, do I walk away feeling energized/positive/supported or discomforted/dis-eased/dysregulated?
- Usually with people closest to us
3. Why set boundaries?
- To establish and maintain healthy relationships and gives opportunities for change and growth
- Comes out of structure, boundaries, clear communication, and respect
- Be mindful of the reaction - can this person hear you? Respect you? Follow through?
4. CARE acronym
- Clear - say what you mean, elaborate
- Assertive - be heard, repeat it again if needed
- Relevant - real, loving, compassionate, generous
- Explicit - be bold, be honest, teach them what you need and who you are
Call to action: Pay close attention to your interpersonal relationships, how you feel when you engage with them.. Do you need to set any boundaries?
Link episode: s2ep11 - boundaries
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